Skip to content

A letter to Mary Claire

2010 May 30
by Pamela

Dear Mary Claire –

Today we woke up and lounged around at our usual pace. You woke early, wonder of wonders, but curled onto the couch with breakfast and graciously watched what Elizabeth calls Big Buwd’s Boo Boo. It’s a DVR’d episode of Sesame Street, called Wing in a Sling, that your sister insists on seeing at least once a day. Sometimes I wonder if the DVR will spontaneously erase it, sick of having to play the same stinking thing again and again. Neither of us would be nearly as sad as Elizabeth.

After getting dressed and playing quietly, you got restless and started asking if any friends could come over. When Daddy is working, weekends are hard for us. Our usual playdate friends aren’t available because their daddys work normal 9-5 hours. But thankfully you looked out the window and saw not one, not two, but five neighborhood kids outside already. I was relieved to see them too, knowing we had someone for you girls to play with.

And play you did! First on the trampoline, all seven of you. Then happy meal picnic lunches thanks to Miss Heather, then swimming at M’s house. By then it was 2 p.m. and time for Elizabeth’s nap. I should have had you come in with us, but Heather offered to watch you so your play with M and A could continue. And by that time Mama was ready for a little quiet time.

Elizabeth and I ran to the grocery store and by the time I came home the weariness on your face was apparent. But the fun continued and you dragged yourself along for the ride. We picked up another little girl by that point and everyone came here for dinner. I noticed that you kept finding reasons to go inside. Alone. And you stayed inside for far longer than your “reason” necessitated.

You have always been the child who needs some alone time. You like to play with others, but relish your privacy as well. Your imagination is rich. I know all children at your age have a good imagination, but yours is beyond. When we drive in the van you often ask me to shut off the radio so it’s quiet. And then I hear you quietly chattering to yourself, holding some dialogue between two imaginary people. The people’s names usually belong to someone you know and admire. Right now it’s Rachel everything, since you will be in her wedding in a few months.

Your favorite collection of toys are your small plastic princesses and polly pockets. You dress them based on whatever magical tale is unfolding in your head. From the very beginning, you played with dolls as if they were acting from a story book:

“And then Janessa said to Rachel, “my how you look so lovely today!”

“Why thank you” Rachel replied. “I am off for an afternoon of shopping with my grandmother”.

You really talk just like that.

You were completely happy to see all of your friends leave this evening. After giving you a shower I asked if the day was a little hard for you. “Yes, I had so much playing to do and it made me tired and that was hard for me”.

Mary Claire, I tell you this often but I want you to see it in print when you will one day be old enough to read this.

One night you might be at a party with all your favorite people. The weather will be perfect, your hair will look great, you might even be wearing a new dress. Everywhere you turn are more people you love and enjoy spending time with. But you will feel very… weary. You will wonder what’s wrong with you, why you aren’t enjoying yourself more. I wrote this letter to tell you that you have always been like this, a little introverted. And being introverted is a wonderful thing. It means you will form very deep relationships with a few people and those friends will last a lifetime. It means you will be the person to have meaningful conversation with one or two people at the party, but they will go home remembering your thoughtfulness and the fact you really cared. Being a little introverted means you will have time and space to create beautiful things and formulate interesting ideas because you weren’t always running around like a maniac from one thing to the next.

So I hope you will learn and accept early in life who you are. You are as God made you and you are designed for His great purposes. Do not pretend to be the social butterfly if you are not in the mood. Better yet, stay home from the party entirely if it suits you.

Afterall, you have big dreams to imagine. And those things take time and solitude.

I love you,


Posted by Picasa

Mary Claire, at a small gathering at Grandma’s house for her 4th birthday

2 Responses leave one →
  1. August 17, 2010

    That was beautiful!! (sniff-sniff)

  2. September 3, 2010

    Pamela – This is by far my favorite post. It felt like you were writing part of it to me. I guess Mary Claire and I have a bit in common.

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS